Ups and Downs
by fantasysrealist
Summary: John and his best friend and roommate, Alexander, get stuck in an elevator on their way to work one day. John may or may not have loved Alexander from the moment he laid eyes on him. Oneshot.
"Come on, John, let's go!" Alexander yelled. He was standing at the door, checking his watch. John, in the meantime, had dumped out half his sock drawer in order to find _one black sock, I swear to God, they don't even need to be the same kind, they just need to look alike-_

"I'm coming!" John shouted back. Alexander groaned.

"We're going to be late, you know," he said as John hopped into the room on one foot, frantically trying to shove a sock onto his foot. "We're going to be late, again, and Washington's going to look at me-you know, _look_ at me, like he does. You know, when he's disappointed in you for something that you just keep doing because your roommate won't settle for toast in the morning. Oh no."

"Shut up," John said as he stuffed his foot in his shoe. He grabbed his bag and opened the door, bowing mockingly in Alexander's direction. "Your Majesty."  
"Really," Alexander said as he walked out the door, John following. "Me, the royalty, when you have to make a freaking waffle every morning."

"Says the man who gets up at 5:30 to primp himself up for Miss Elizabeth," John said teasingly.

"Well, at least I bother getting up…"

They continued on to work, bickering playfully and talking about what they needed to do. Alexander had to write up a new plan for that month's budget, while John was working on Washington Industries's social media accounts.

As they dashed up the steps outside the building, Alexander looked at his watch. "For once, we aren't late."

"Oh, shut up. Here-" John handed the door to Alexander as they walked in. They walked quickly through the lobby.

Alexander pushed the button for the elevator. "Hey, did you hear about Jefferson?" They walked into the elevator.

"Oh my god, no. What happened?" John asked.

"Aaron walked in on him making out with the maid. In a broom closet. I mean, seriously, how could that get more cliche?"

"Yeah, honest-" John was cut off as the elevator jerked to a stop, throwing John into Alexander and knocking them both over.  
"What the hell?" Alexander mouthed at John as John pushed himself off the other man, praying to God that the other man hadn't seen him blush. Alexander got up, holding out a hand for John, which he took gratefully. Once John had gotten up, Alexander looked up at the floor display. It was shut off. John had never seen that before.

"Ok, we'll be fine. Just let me call Mr. Washington and tell him the situation and-oh shit, John, are you ok?"

John was freaking out. That was an understatement. He was basically hyperventilating. He had always been claustrophobic, and he had literally had nightmares about this situation. Through his panic, he felt Alexander hovering next to him. John felt a hand on his shoulder.

 _I can't deal with this right now. Not only am I trapped in an elevator, I'm trapped in an elevator with Alexander. He doesn't even fucking know that I'm gay and I can't handle this right now._

He shoved Alexander's hand away.

When he finally managed to calm down and breathe normally again, Alexander was on the other side of the elevator, talking to someone on the phone. 'The other side of the elevator' meaning five feet away, but still. He felt a little better that at least now someone else knew about it.

 _Wait. Does that mean that he doesn't want to be near you? Because if he is purposefully staying away from you, then this will be really awkward. But wait. Didn't I basically reject his comfort? So why would he want to be near me?_

John's self-beating was interrupted by Alexander's "okay, thank you." He turned to John. "Okay, so we have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Bad news first," John said, attempting to put a smile on his face.

"Ok, so we'll be in here for about an hour and a half. But the good news is, we're excused from work until then!"

"Oh, great. That's just what I needed to know," John grumbled.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Alexander asked, moving over to the other side of John and leaning against the wall next to him.

"Nothing," John responded coolly. He was having trouble processing the situation. He was balancing luck with fear, and fear was winning.

"No, seriously. What's the issue?" Alexander persisted. He turned towards John, was staring him straight in the face, and all John could think about was

 _Oh God his lips are right there._

 _Damn it._

John didn't know what to do. He was trying so hard just to be normal for once, to stop being awkward around his best friend, even though he'd had a crush on him for as long as he could remember. He was constantly battling himself. One day, he'll decide that he'll tell him, and he'll make himself feel nice. He'll walk into the dining room feeling confident-and then he'll see him. _What do you want more? His love or his friendship?_

But he can't give up Alexander. He can't give up the thing that practically makes his world go 'round. So he'll tease his friend when he talks about his crush on Eliza, and he'll stay single because Alexander can never know the difference in the people they love.

And he'll never tell him.

"John?"

He snaps back to the real world as Alexander says his name.

"Nothing. There's no problem," John responds hurriedly. Alexander looks at him worriedly, and John tries to smile. He walks over to the other side of the elevator, not looking at the other man behind him.

There was a slight pause. "John."

"What do you want, Alexander?" John turned around, throwing his hands to the side with his nails ragged. He hadn't even realized that he was biting them.

"I've known you long enough to know when there's something wrong. So what is it?" Alexander persisted.

John laughed, but with no real emotion behind it. "Like I'd ever tell you." He immediately realized he had done something wrong when Alexander's face fell and he turned away. "No, wait-Alex!"

Alexander stayed still. John's stomach was clenched up and his mind was working at a thousand miles a minute, trying to figure out what to say, before he realized that he was already talking, blurting out words that he would never have said normally.

"No, wait, Alex- you don't understand-you didn't do anything- it's just that I have claustrophobia and I can't deal with tiny spaces. Especially not ones with you in them. Not that I have anything against you- that's the whole problem, you see, that I can't bring myself to hate you. You just- enamor me- make me feel things that I don't want to feel. I want to be near you, but you would never accept me- so I just- smile and laugh at your jokes, and I tease you about the girls, because I just don't know what else to do. And oh, God, I just broke my number one rule, and-"

John was pacing the side of the elevator at this point, head almost in his hands. He looked up with dread when Alexander spoke.

"John-I just- I don't understand."

"Oh, God, Alexander, are you really going to make me spell it out for you," John was almost in tears by this point. He couldn't go back, and he couldn't stop now. So he just had to hope and pray that Alexander would still want to be friends, and go forwards. He looked at his best friend with watery eyes and told him.

"I've loved you since I laid eyes on you."

Silence filled the small area of the elevator.

"John-" Alexander tried to say, but he couldn't.

Tears were streaming down John's face at this point. "Don't do this to me, Alex, okay? Just pretend like I never said anything." He hung his head, his stomach feeling less tight and more, well, dead. Tears were dripping down his face and he wiped them away, hating himself for not being able to stop crying. Across the elevator, the other man seemed to be debating himself.

Alexander suddenly looked up. He abruptly turned around and strode towards John. In the second before Alexander arrived, John looked into his eyes-and saw the hunger in them.

And then Alexander's lips were on his, and all John could think of was _oh fuck_. Because this man had tortured him for years while he wondered what his lips felt like. _Soft_ was the answer. Soft and warm and like nothing he had ever felt before. Alexander's hair was soft as well. John wondered just when his hands had grabbed the other's hair, but it didn't matter because then his hands were on Alex's waist and Alex's hands were in _his_ hair. They pulled each other closer, Alex's tongue sneaking into John's mouth. John let out a little moan into Alex's lips, and Alex pulled away. John just stood there for a second, breathing heavily.

"What...the... _hell_?" John wheezed out, slightly out of breath.

"Is there a problem?" Alexander asked, smirking. _That bastard._

"Um, no? I guess not?" John was a little confused.

Alexander grinned, bigger this time. "Good."

He pushed John against the wall and started kissing him again. But this time, Alex was taking as much as he gave away. John almost melted as Alex forced his tongue into John's kiss. It was much sloppier than before, desperate to make up for all the time they had missed. John was going with all that he had. On an impulse from a wild side he didn't know he had, he ground his hips into Alex's, and this time it was Alexander who let out a little moan.

"Oh, shit, yes," Alexander whispered into John's lips. So John kept going, and soon Alex did the same. All until-

 _Click._

 _Oh no._

"Oh my god, you guys, they're making out!" Jefferson crowed from the elevator doors, which were pried open most of the way on the third floor. "You guys, they're making out!"

John heard a semi-distant "OH MY GOD" from Angelica.

Alexander looked John in the eyes. "So, what was that confession about, huh?"

John snorted. "My god, can we please talk about your incredible kissing skills? Like, seriously, who taught you that?"

"The internet."

" _WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT THEM AND THEY WERE MAKING OUT! OH MY GOD!"_

"Wow."

Alexander smiled. "You weren't too bad yourself. Now, about what happened-"  
"Can we keep doing this?"

The words slipped out of John's mouth before he could stop them.

Alexander looked startled, then started to laugh. "John Laurens, so superficial."  
"No, but-" John halfheartedly laughed, suddenly nervous about what Alex would say.

"John." Alexander looked incredibly serious.

"Yeah?" John gulped.

"Just be cute like you always are and hold my fucking hand, okay?"

"Oh my god." John tried to hold it together, he really did, but in the end Alexander got the best of him.

"Yeah, okay."

John wakes up inside Alexander's arms the next morning. He wonders if it's a dream. But no, Alexander is really there. And there's a certain other part of Alexander that's really there as well. John blushes. But it's so warm and cozy, and Alexander smells faintly of soap and coffee. He picks his head up anyways and blearily looks at the clock.

8:30.

"Shit! Alex, wake up! We're gonna be late!" John springs up in bed, but for once Alexander doesn't move.  
"We'll be fine," murmurs Alexander from the bed. He doesn't bother getting up after that. He just stays, and soon Alexander is kissing him, and it's slow and easy, and all John can think is that

 _They'll be fine._


End file.
